From the recording Reptiles and Monsters
Several years ago I was in a nerdy band and we got asked to play at several "fairy festivals". Realizing I did not actually have any songs about fairies, I did a little research, and found about the most vile fairy in scottish folklore, the Redcap. I was also somewhat familar with them from playing the Pathfinder RPG. So this song is written from the point of view of a redcap.
At the conclusion of the song he meets his end at the hands of a Holy Knight, or Paladin. I always pictured the Pathfinder RPG's iconic paladin, Seelah, as being that paladin, so I wrote this part for a female voice. My niece, Jaycee, agreed to sing that part, and honestly, my vocals pale in comparison to hers and she's only 14 at the time of this recording!
The bass on his is played on my midi controller using a pretty detailed simulator of a old, worn, upright rockabilly bass. I really love the sound of it and everything else was just kinda buillt around that sound.
This one sound pretty dang good just on guitar as well, as I will often perform it live.
The ending lyrics are a ironic quote of one of the great classic rock songs. My apologies to Ozzy, but as a Texan, you owe all of us one for what you did to the Alamo. This is me collecting.
Vocals and instruments-Cool Nerd Mark
Additional Vocals-Jaycee Orr
lyrics and music composed by John Mark Orr copyright 2025.
Special thanks to Sam Sham and the Pharoahs for inspiring me with their song "Little Red Riding Hood". This song owes a debt to that one.
Lyrics
Don’t come knocking at my door, cuz you’re gonna regret it
Read my no trespassing sign, don’t you ever forget it.
I’m not the monster that’s coming for you, but this redcap is dry
And if I don’t kill really soon, then I might simply die!
It’s not the easiest life that a redcap leads
Because ya only survive by doing dirty deeds
I run around in iron boots…catch me if you can
But you see it’s either you or me…oh ho! Redcap or man.
Look deep into my red eyes…I’m hungry for more
I wish there was another way…to stop all the gore.
I could put down my pike staff And we could live and be free
But you see I simply can’t survive Without brutality
It’s not the easiest life that a redcap leads Because ya only survive by doing dirty deeds
Don’t ask me why my cap is red Cuz it’s the answer that you dread
If you don’t go you’ll soon be dead And my cap will be fed
Not all fairies are cute you see…some are wicked and a bit ugly
You could say that is true of me I ain’t no Tinkerbell!
I really wish there was another way I could invite in for tea today
We could talk and I could ask you to stay (for dinner)
Instead of send you to hell
So you can have a running start A lot a good it will do
Cuz I will trample your face Under my iron shoe
And now you pull out your broadsword And say a prayer to your sweet lord
One of us will have his just reward Is it gonna be me or you?
It’s not the easiest life that a redcap leads
Because ya only survive by doing dirty deeds
And as I face this holy knight I’m pretty sure she’s in the right
And she’ll use her holy smite And I will lose this fight.
It’s not the easiest life, that a Paladin leads
Because you only survive by doing righteous deeds.
Now this redcap can live again Finally I’m absolved of sin
Cause you just hit level 10 Because of my xp