Lyrics

Listen to the children of the night, Their music it sounds so sweet.
But I have a henchman named Renfield who thinks
That rats’ blood is something to eat.
He gets himself locked up in the London jail,
Then cries out in anguish and asks me for bail.
Oh, the horror of it all,
I’m surrounded by fools, and my plans have all stalled.
But I’ve lost too many servants to “attrition,”
I wish I could find a better henchman.
I looked at my employment rosters,
And the air itself is filled with monsters.
But I have a henchman named Igor who has
A brain the size of a lobster’s.
And speaking of brains that I’ve asked him to find,
With the clearest of instructions he’s losing my mind.
Oh, the horror of it all,
I’m surrounded by morons in my castle walls.
But I’ve lost too many servants to “attrition,”
I wish I could find a better henchman.
I never drink wine.
I drink something more fine. (Is it blood?)
I never drink wine, but I might start
Because of these henchmen.
Listen to the music of the night,
It’s alive, it’s alive every day.
And someday a mob may come knocking at my door,
Coming to take me away (ha ha).
And on that fine day, I won’t take all the blame,
I’ll have a dumb henchman who’s easy to frame.
Oh, the genius of it all,
I have a dull patsy to take on the fall.
And I will get off scot-free
With my gullible henchmen close to me.
Oh, the brilliance of it all,
To have such a scapegoat, a guy for the fall.
And I will live forever guilt-free,
For my henchman, he took the blame for me.
For my henchman, he took the blame for me!